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Incredible Wit -
on October 5, 2012
Stephen Colbert could be standing in the middle of the Sahara and find something funny about every grain of sand - it's non-stop with him in this book, even more so than his nightly program. His thesis here is that as perfect as America is in every possible way, our country is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're way past the 30-day return window. We don't make anything anymore and we've mortgaged our future to China. 'America Again' provides readers with the Truth we need to get back on the right track that we're already on.
Unfortunately, per Colbert, mere ownership of the book constitutes a non-disclosure agreement not to share the contents with anyone. The book is to be purchased only at full price, and if taken out of a library, the borrower is immediately to call the library, pretend to have lost it, and offer to pay for the copy.
I've often wondered about the numerous claims of 'American exceptionalism.' Colbert clears that up using a quote from Newt Gingrich. "America's exceptional greatness . . . (is) the result of American Exceptionalism.' I really liked getting that cleared up.
Colbert credits our growing into an agricultural power to our Unpaid African Internship Program.' 'We've defeated the Native Americans, the Nazis, and even the metric system' - I particularly appreciate the latter.
Colbert even provides readers with insightful economic philosophy via his parable of "The Aynt and the Grasshopper.' According to Colbert, the ant took what he wanted and did not apologize for his success, while the grasshopper fiddled. When Winter came, the ant heard a knock at his door - the grasshopper was pleading for food. They were then both crushed by the foot of Ayn Rand because the way all the ants worked together in their colony reminded her of Socialism.
Example of the Protestant work ethic - Martin Luther's posting 95 Theses on the door of the local Catholic church. Colbert points out that most of us would have stopped at 12 or so theses, but not Martin. He labored on and on - even without Wikipedia to explain phrases like 'plenary indulgences,' or Spell Check.
His chapter titled 'Healthcare,' appropriately has a $50 co-pay and points out that one of the reasons our healthcare is the world's best is because it is exclusive, with comprehensive care reserved for the elite. On energy, 'we need to stop listening to liberal environmentalists and get that oil out from under the ocean - our children swim there!'
'America Again' doesn't lack for solutions, either. In his 'Easy Solutions,' he suggests retracing our steps to where we last saw our thriving economy, spicing up one of our clunker states (eg. new windows and rat traps) before selling it to a Saudi Prince, limiting maternity leaves to 15 minutes, and singing the National Anthem twice before football games.
My suggestion - read 'American Again' slowly, for full comprehension and appreciation.