Top positive review
5.0 out of 5 starsGood Precursor to Understanding the Mechanism of Thought Emotion and Behavior
Reviewed in the United States on January 8, 2019
Even though I am not in one hundred percent agreement with some of the terms used to attempt an explanation of human emotion and behavior change this book is still headed in the right direction. As an example, the author uses the term paradigm shift when he experiences a change in perception given a specific circumstance. In my mind, a paradigm shift occurs when there is a permanent change in emotion and behavior which does not occur with most people in a single change of perception. Children can experience a paradigm shift if caught early in a behavior that does not work. A 40 or 50-year-old adult, however, is a very different animal.
“The Way We See the Problem is the Problem.” I agree with this one hundred percent but being told how to reframe it and take another approach without revealing the mechanism of the thought process behind it will only work with some people. Something I have found to be consistent with all people is teaching them the mechanism of how thought emotion and behavior work as opposed to trying to tell them what to do which I think would integrate perfectly with the principals of 7 Habits. An example of one of those mechanisms is our internal dialogue which runs at approximately one thousand to twelve hundred words per minute which is about four times faster then we can speak. This internal dialogue is generated in large part by our self-questioning Following is the mechanism.
Example
Question: Do we ask ourselves questions?
Answer: Yes
Question: Does the subconscious work on those questions when we are not consciously involved.
Answer: Yes
Example: If you see someone you know or an actor you are familiar with and ask yourself “What is their name?” You may not get an answer right away, but in an hour or two or maybe even the next day their name will pop into your head as clear as day.
Internal dialogue is the first and most important thing we can use to change any circumstance. Getting back to “The Way We See the Problem is the Problem.” the first two questions need to be “What can I learn from this” and “How can I use this to move more quickly toward my objectives?”
Now that you understand that you ask questions and the subconscious will work on those questions when you are not consciously involved “How important is the structure of the questions you ask yourself? ” The structure is extremely important because if you ask yourself “Why can't I resolve this issue” what do you think the results will be? The result will be negative because the question is in a negative context.
The 7 habits make perfect sense but for most consistent implementation will be an issue. There are many moving parts when initiating change or causing a paradigm shift especially if a programmed pattern is 10, 20 or 30 years old. Internal dialogue especially in the form questions, however, is the absolute foundation for initiating and maintaining this shift. Following are some of the questions I use for each of the 7 Habits.
Habit 1: Be Proactive
What action can I take every day to move as quickly as possible toward my objective?
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Everything we do in life produces a result, so the key question for Habit 2 is…
What result do I want to produce?”
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Within the FEF™ process, there are two keywords which determine one's objectives and define what needs to be put first, and they are “Absolute Must,” so the key question for Habit 3 is…
What are my Absolute Musts or what are my Absolute Musts for today?
Habit 4: Think Win/Win
The Win/Win scenario can be accomplished if one has the ability to use every life experience good or bad. This can be done with the two key questions I mentioned earlier.
What can I learn from this? and
How can I use this to move more quickly toward my objectives?
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
How can I make sure I have a comprehensive understanding of the people I serve and the objectives I believe will serve them?
How can I make sure I am communicating my services in the best way possible?
Habit 6: Synergize
In the days of social media, there are many questions regarding Habit 6.
Will social media create the synergistic relationships I need to achieve my objectives?
What do I need to do to create the synergistic personal relationships that will move me quickly toward my objectives?
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
In this chapter, Covey reiterates the importance of physical-spiritual mental and social/emotional. I agree on the context but not the order and everything that is included. How we feel about everything in our lives will determine whether we move toward them or not so for me emotion is the most important and this encompasses the mind or what Covey refers to as mental. When establishing objectives in Functional Emotional Fitness™, there are four categories which cover all human objectives and they are “Love, Health, Wealth and Self-Image” which I feel clearly defines the full spectrum of what one needs to keep sharp. You can, however, use Coeys or your own within the context of the following question.
How can I make sure my Love, Health, Wealth and Self-Image are clearly defined and operating in the 90 plus percent range?
If you need to generate more questions to make sure you are keeping the saw as sharp as possible simply ask yourself “What questions do I need to ask myself .about Habit 1 or 2 or 3 or 7?”
Given the current science on the influence of the gut over our thought processes keeping the saw sharp might need to be addressed first. Whatever the case the 7 Habits is a rock solid foundation.
