Top critical review
3.0 out of 5 starsMostly for the workplace, not how to have long lasting REAL friendships
Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2013
Now, this book is not what I thought it would be. I thought this book was for people who just cannot communicate with people on a social level as in school or just out in the open. About making friends in general. Most of this book was about the workplace. Don't get me wrong, this book is pretty fantastic for the workplace. If you want a job, want a better job, want to be a good manager/leader, increase your connections, etc., this will help tremendously.
I started to get the hint when Carnegie most of the time brought up examples of tycoons and presidents, that this wasn't going to be a "How to make friends book". It starts off with the basic, say hello, say their names, pat them on the pat, eye contacting, and it goes on and on. Though I did find it amusing this one part where he suggested make time for people (which is very true when it comes to making friends), that he would just listen to a woman talk, and said he would pretend to be interested in what the woman was saying. I'm sure this falls into the workplace category and making an impression, as opposed to actually making a friend. If someone wanted to make a friend, why on earth would you pretend to be interested in what they are saying? Unless you are a guy trying to get into some woman's pants (or vice versa). Then he mentions how he took the time to talk to a boss for about an hour about his dog, and just listened. Then the boss gave him a free dog, or an offer to get a free dog. Then he says, "See look! I got something free just for listening to this rich guy for 1-2 hours!". He was showing that making time for others can be beneficial. Yeah well, I don't want peoples assets, I would like their FRIENDSHIP. Things like this, I just did not like in the book. I don't want to be fake.
The book however is well written. It's a bit repetitive though. Carnegie has a LOT of examples that are well written out from start to finish. But it can be a bit boring when you already understand what he's saying, and then you find out you still have some pages to go about something he's has already explained enough about.
This book is also NOT for the introverted or shy. I know this is the last thing the author may have thought about, but just to put this book in a different light, this is not for the ones who don't want to put themselves out there. First you have to evaluate your own self and be comfortable with yourself, as well as be confident. If you are not, read books about self-esteem, confidence, shyness, etc first before diving into this book IF you want to have a successful BUSINESS and be a good boss or leader.
Honestly to sum up this book : Be good to people, make time for them, ask questions and suggest things that would benefit another person rather than criticizing, do not insult others, smile, remember names, pretend to be interested in people (unless you really like them I guess).
When I get a job in the corporate world, I would definitely try to read this book again. Though his bold words at the end of each chapter, pretty much sum up what he says. He just has a lot of examples to show how effective his advice is.
This book is more for Workplace friends... the people you go to when you need a favor, then you don't talk to them until you need another favor!
