Top critical review
On Book 10 Now But Still Just Under a 2 Star Review
Reviewed in the United States on September 12, 2014
I'm on book 10 now, but this is still in the 2 star range for me. Now, when I read reviews before purchasing a book, especially by a "new", (to me), author, I never read 4 and 5 stars and rarely read 1 star reviews. After a few books in a series, if I've gotten that far, I know how I feel about the author and their style/talent, so I usually don't bother with reviews. Personally, there has been maybe 1 or 2 times when I've just given a 1 star review... Ok, if they would let me review a book using 0 stars, those would be the books...
First, for a new, indie author to put him/herself out there in public, open and in tune for HONEST reviews, I have to respect that. The reviews in book one, show that John does read his reviews and addresses them or at least says, "thank you (for leaving me that really sh**y review). IMHO, that takes a real author, who is working at improving their work to do that.
I still stumbled to read because of the punctuation of this book. However, it was marginally better than book 1. There are a few things that are like fingernails on a chalkboard for me: punctuation, their, there and they're use (not a problem in this book), to, too and two use (not a problem in this book). Issue 4? "I (me) and my son (or daughter, wife, Lynn)".
Today's lesson: if YOU are associating yourself (or your character) with another person(s), they come first, your pronoun comes last and everyone else is in the middle! "Lynn, Robert and I went to the store." When to use, "me/I". "Me and John went to the store." First, change John to be first. Second, remove John (and others if there are more than 1) from the sentence. It now would read, "Me went to the store." Does that really sound right? It pains me enough when someone actually speaks those words, but to actually read them???? And let's go one step beyond that, I'm PAYING someone to write those words! Exceptions to this rule, would be in the case of an ignorant, biker/bully and your intent is to show their ignorance/education level. (Remembering always that ignorance can be fixed, while stupid cannot be.)
For those who wish to comment on my use of punctuation, remember, I'm not being paid to, "write" my review...
To some of those who comment about the improbability of scenarios, really? First, you're reading a book on an improbable subject (although I question why I would have to tell you this). While I agree, that Jack teaching his son, Robert, how to fly a C130 in the time span he did, (even considering that Robert did have some training in flying...) could have been handled a little differently, it's a "whatever" to me. Kind of like the old TV show, "Duke's of Hazard". Yeah, like you'll ever do a burn out and/or chirp the tires on dirt! Two thoughts come to mind; first, is that whole, "whatever" statement. Secondly, it's their tv show, they can write it the way they want to. It's my choice to watch it or not.
I tend to agree somewhat with other reviewers, who stated that books 1 and 2 could have been written as a single volume to this series. It really would have made the story move along a little faster, even without my beloved commas! Apparently, the concept was enough to carry me through to book 3.
OK, so the additional $1 to the price did make me growl, (no, it did not break me though), this would go back to page count vs cost of the series (covered in my book 1 review). This is less of an issue with a Kindle (ebook reader), really, than it would have been had I ordered the print copy ($12.99) and paid shipping on it. Yeah, someone would have owed me some money on that!
So, even with the improvement in writing skills, this remains under 3 stars, although it is getting closer!
OK so where do I get off being so critical? I wrote about 30 software technical workbooks. My first attempt is shameful, yet I did charge for it. But I learned from those mistakes and I really didn't get too many complaints. My workbooks went through 2 editing processes. First were my beta testers. It was their job to go through the workbook and make sure each step was explained in an easy to follow format. The beta testers would also send me their GLARING grammar mistakes that were also, then corrected. Once the beta testers, (usually 3 in line, not 3 at a time), were done raking me over the coals, my "grammar Nazi" took over... Wanna talk critical? LOL Seriously, it was embarrassing...
So yes, I know how it is to put yourself out in front of people, John. Had I read the series as it was released, I would have encouraged you to have fewer "cheerleaders" and more "critical thinkers" doing the beta reading :(
Hang in there, it really does get better! After all, I'm on book 10 now! I've hung in there!