May 8, 2013
'I want love...the kind they write books about, but my fear of rejection refuses to make it possible.
A special shout out to all the awesome high school girls who taunted me daily. Thanks for the fabulous fat girl complex.'
Every so often you come across a book that grabs hold of you and refuses to let go, this was that book for me. I connected with this story on a deeper level than even I expected, being a plus size gal myself. I won't go into the plot much, the blurb lays it out there quite well, so I'm just gonna rant a bit.
From the second Devin accepts the deal from Lilly's mom (which happens pretty early on) you just know there is no way this is gonna end well. I spent the majority of the book on edge, nervously anticipating the moment it all blew up, knowing it was gonna be bad. And I wasn't wrong. I have to admit, it took me a verrryyy long time to warm up to Devin. Being in his head was not a comfortable place to be, though it was necessary. His thoughts often made me cringe, rage & cry. I understood his reasoning for going into the deal in the first place, I truly did, taking care of your family is of the utmost importance, still... didn't make it any easier to swallow. His absolute certainty that this "job" would be easy, how could she NOT fall for him & his complete lack of concern whatsoever that he could possibly develop feelings for the fat girl was appalling to me. This guy had very little conscious to speak of. When he does start to genuinely like her, and **gasp** becomes attracted to chubby, his reaction is to get pi**ed. His insensitivity & complete lack of brain to mouth filter hurt her so often & brought me to tears many times. I did love his sister Jenny though, she was a riot.
"It's not my fault he didn't protect his balls. You always protect your balls. Even I know that, and I'm a chick."
"That's debatable. Me and Dad aren't so sure anymore. Also, could you please not talk about balls with me? I'm pretty sure there's like a rule about little sisters saying the word balls anywhere in the vicinity of their brother. If there isn't, let's just go ahead and put that rule on the books."
"I'm assuming the new rule applies to the word c***, too?"
"Yes! That word is strictly forbidden."
"Don't be a little b***h, Dev."
"Watch your damn mouth, Jenny. Could you at least attempt to be a lady? Ladies don't kick boys in their balls because they win a game of Halo. I'd be pi**ed if I was him, too. You need to call him and apologize. Josh has been your best friend too long- don't let a stupid game ruin that."
"First of all, he did not win and B, I was raised by two dudes. I'm pretty sure the lady train left the station when I was nine. Whatever, I guess I'll run him over some gummy worms later and say sorry. He's such a baby. It's just balls. He smacked me in the boob once and you didn't hear me b***hin' and moanin' ."
By the time he finally pulls his head out of his a** and sees the beauty of what's in front of him, everyone is too deeply involved. I connected with Lilly on so many levels it wasn't even funny, we have so freakin much in common. The shyness & complete lack of self esteem (thank you mean girls), her inability to freely accept that a hott guy could be interested in her (thank you douchbags), her quickness to crack jokes at herself before anyone else can.
"Why no camouflage? I think some of the pink camo stuff is cute."
"The whole point of camouflage is to blend in. A girl my size ain't blending into anything."
Growing up I learned quickly to make the jokes before anyone else could. It slowed the teasing if I made people laugh with me instead of at me.
'All the mushy love thoughts and the "no one wants me" whining was starting to get on my nerves. Aunt Flo's definitely knocking at my door, and she brought the b***h triplets P, M, and S with her.'
This girl had a heart of gold. So sweet, caring, gentle, giving, compassionate & funny. When she falls, she falls hard and that made me want to choke Devin even more. But even I have to admit, he really did grow and change as the book wore on which is why I eventually fell for him. The whole situation just broke my heart. In the end, this is a book I would recommend to everyone. Plus size girls will truly understand & feel it, everyone else will get a glimpse of what our emotions go through.