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Customer Review

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Two Mules For Sister Sarah..., June 4, 2012
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This review is from: Nude Nuns with Big Guns (DVD)
There are some really wonderful reviews here. I don't know if mine will measure up, but here goes...

I tripped across this diamond in the rough on cable channel 69666. Since I am bizarre by everyone's standards except my own I will take a moment to explain that when I am not out pretending to be like everyone else, I subsist on a diet of junk food and sexploitation movies...Oh wait, that IS when I'm pretending to be like everyone else...Never mind.

NUDE NUNS WITH BIG GUNS---the title says it all. If you're a devout Catholic you may want to move to Vatican City in order to avoid this film, or otherwise accept the fact that you're going to hell just for being on this webpage.

A Mexican drug gang (Los Muertos = The Dead), led by a nun-raping murderous slugcharmer named Chavo, is being funded and supplied with cocaine by a corrupt Monsignor and his Churchly underlings who are using well-morphinated nude nuns to cut the stuff and mule it around in their habits (when they are wearing any between bouts of gratuitous lesbianism). The nunnery is being run by a fleshily repulsive penguin named Mother Magda, who also keeps the local brothel and strip club staffed with her little sisters of mercy.

After being shot full of smack and encountering the Angel of The Lord in her delirium, Sister Sarah finally has enough. Sarah listens to the Lord's command. She becomes a one-nun vigilante. Armed with pistols, shotguns, and a Thompson Submachine Gun she takes vengeance on all evildoers within her firing radius. It's Ash Wednesday Gone Wild as Sarah leaves powder burns on forehead after forehead. Saying that NUDE NUNS WITH BIG GUNS is violent is like saying that Heinz makes 57 Varieties.

Given its low budget, NUDE NUNS WITH BIG GUNS isn't as grotesquely graphic as most of the films in its grubby genre. The woman-on-woman sex, while titillating (pun?) isn't overly explicit. And the violence itself isn't as horrifying as it is absurd. The Director introduces each character with a gang graphic (for the Bad Guys) or a Cross (for those doing the Lord's Work), and provides subtitles for all the colorful Spanish obscenities that adorn this film like rosary beads. In other words, its a perfect One-and-a-Half-Star Five Star Grindhouse Epic.
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Location: Boca Raton, Florida and Brooklyn, New York

Top Reviewer Ranking: 5,069