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Customer Review

on May 10, 2012
I bought this book to help me during a job application with a company I really wanted to work for. The final part of the application process was a series of onsite interviews with different staff members, I was looking for something to help me with this section and fortunately came across this book through hearing the author being interviewed.

There is a wealth of great information in this book, and what I really appreciate is the many references to concrete academic studies which have proven the points being made in the book.

If you are going to benefit from this book, do the exercises and try to internalize as much as you can to keep applying it to your everyday life.

The first thing I tried to apply was being present in conversations to be a better listener. The first time I tried this on somebody they spoke for almost 2 hours straight about their day. They were happy because they were truly being listened to and I was enjoying seeing how uplifting it was for them to have the spotlight shone firmly on them.

To start focusing on the interview I spent ages practicing handshakes with a partner, there is so much more to a good handshake than simply a firm grip. Once you have your own handshake down, you can't help but begin to accessing somebody you meet by observing their handshake.
I found on my interview day, as I shook hands with people, I felt more in control when
they had limp handshakes, as if I knew they had just given me an upper hand so to speak, like a poker playing reading tells.

On my interview day I made sure to speak slowly and lower my tone at the end of sentences and threw in many, many random pauses and waited two seconds to speak before responding. All of these are some of the early tips in this book to increase your charisma.

But being charismatic isn't just about outward things such as good handshakes and controlling how you speak, it is mostly skills with dealing with internal things, because these internal things control how you are presented to the world, which in turn controls how charismatic you are.

The responsibility transfer worked really well, I continuously did it in the days leading up to the interview, so much so
that when I had the interview I was as calm as a tibetan monk. I didn't need to do it on the day, because by the time I went there
I had psychologically absolved myself from responsibility.

Even the stuff on Impostor Syndrome helped me, on the way to the interview I found myself negatively telling myself that I wasn't
good enough for the role and that the interviewers would take me to pieces. I just stepped back, looked at the thoughts as if I were
an observer rather than trying to fight them, and I also reasoned that everybody has these feelings and feels like they are impostors
when pushed out of their comfort zone.

Before each of the interviewers walked I followed the tips on warmth, so that I could greet each one with a real level of warmth and I then found every
interviewer was really warm and friendly the whole way through in response to this.

I gave this book 5 stars, because it made a measurable difference in how I carried myself going into a tough interview. If you want to get ahead in today's world you need to have great soft skills to compliment your hard skills. This book will seriously raise the bar on your soft skills.
451 helpful votes
452 helpful votes
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