Dear Mr. Christie,
I'm sorry to hear about the problems you experienced with this watchband. Based on my own personal experience with this item, you should have received your Commission Notification from the British Secret Service within the first 48 hours after delivery, that is assuming you promptly fastened the band to a 1968 vintage Rolex Submariner. Having thoroughly familiarized yourself with the instruction sheet prior to destroying the document, I'm sure you are aware that the manufacturers are very specific on this point, so we shan't dwell on it further. As 6 months have elapsed since your purchase, your should have dispatched your 2nd termination target and received confirmation of your 'double 0 status'. If not, you must contact the office of the British Minister of Defense who will coordinate a meeting with M at a venue of her choosing...usually at the abandoned U station beneath the West trestle of London bridge. Bring a topcoat as it can get very chilly at this time of year...and I refer not only to the weather but to M's demeanor. You will then receive written orders to report for duty. Be sure to show a bit of initiative and stop in at Q Branch on the way to receive your Walther PPS .380 sidearm, replacement timepiece (I hear they're issuing Omegas again) and custom modified BMW. Whatever you do, don't 'whinge' about being promised an Aston Martin...that's just a bit of recruitment rubbish...you weren't intended to believe it.
Good luck on your next assignment...to root out a ruthless and seditious impostor at the very highest levels of the American government, and terminate same with extreme prejudice. A bit of discretion wouldn't be ill advised, either!