145 of 187 people found the following review helpful
why put bacon in your pocket when you can put it in your mouth?,
This review is from: Accoutrements Bacon Wallet (Toy)
i have mixed feelings about the bacon wallet.
on one hand, i can't help but feel a bit cheated, due to the fact that THE BACON WALLET WAS MY IDEA. you see, for the past 17 years i have invested countless hours of blood, sweat and tears into the development of the perfect bacon wallet. it all began with the notion that money, happiness, and bacon go hand in hand. from there i began experimenting with different types of raw bacon. it was tough for a while. getting the right combination of bacon type and wallet style was the hardest thing i've ever done in my life. i went through about infinity prototypes: trifold maple cured, bifold hickory smoked, the list goes on. the seemingly insurmountable problem, which became the bane of my existence for a solid 3 years, was that, regardless of flavor, dollar bills would always stick to the raw bacon. what good is a wallet that you can't take your money out of? in a fury of frustration and self-pity over my failure, i took all of my bacon wallet prototypes and cooked them up for breakfast one morning. i thought i was throwing in the towel on all of my hopes and dreams. instead, i was stepping into chapter 2 of my life. a chapter like no other. so, as i stood over the frying pan, sobbing, the joyful aroma of bacon fat began to permeate my tortured soul. then, in an instant, everything changed. BACON WALLET 2.0 was born. the quandry had been solved! with bacon wallet 2.0 dollar bills would glide effortlessly free, like a newborn baby exiting the womb. all that was left for me to do was to go into mass production of bacon wallet asap. i was a little worried that i was going to make more money off the bacon wallet than i could fit in the bacon wallet itself, forcing me to upsize to some sort of clutch purse or fanny pack, thereby betraying the very thing i stood for. well, this fear was soon put to rest as soon as i got on the internet and found this product. what more is there to say.
on the other hand, after ordering a few of these bacon wallets for myself (after all, they always say "keep your friends close and your enemies closer"), i have come to admire one clever feature that i admit never crossed my mind. this bacon wallet, is in fact not made of REAL bacon, but an exact replica of bacon in synthetic form. impossible you say? well, that's exactly what i would say were i not holding such a wonder in my hand at this very moment. what this company has done is take my idea and evolve it to meet the expectations of today's ipod generation. why put bacon in your pocket when you can put it in your mouth? that is the age old question that we as human beings can now consider answered.
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Showing 1-10 of 12 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Aug 14, 2010, 5:34:06 PM PDT
In reply to an earlier post on Aug 26, 2010, 5:43:28 PM PDT
Joe Barlow says:
Frank, you are the most awesome person ever.
Posted on Nov 3, 2010, 1:31:50 AM PDT
Edward Liu says:
frank you just put a in wesome. AWESOME.
In reply to an earlier post on Nov 3, 2010, 10:46:02 AM PDT
L. Lufkin says:
Does anyone know how to contact Frank? I think he is my soul mate...
Posted on Jan 26, 2011, 3:11:21 PM PST
D. Rishi says:
HILARIOUS! Will you marry me...?
Posted on Apr 4, 2011, 7:20:08 PM PDT
Pure genious.. If Bacon were your father, he'd be very proud of you.
Posted on Apr 14, 2012, 3:43:43 PM PDT
Carl in Dover DE says:
a great laugh, thanks!
Posted on Jul 10, 2013, 9:30:58 AM PDT
Jennifer M. Coradi says:
Given your first name, I am surprised you did try a more tubular form of pork product :D
Posted on Jul 10, 2013, 9:45:15 AM PDT
Jennifer M. Coradi says:
On second thought: Had you lived in an earlier time when the hides of the legendary nauga was in massive abundance, a bacon wallet made of that animal variety could have been your ticket to fame and fortune!
Posted on Oct 23, 2013, 6:37:01 PM PDT
Ha ha, this made my day. Thank you sir.