This Halloween my boyfriend and I rented something seasonal -- *Beyond Reanimator. We didn't get around to watching it right away; Blockbuster's newly lax late-regulations make our procrastination all the cheaper. And besides, what was the rush? How good could it possibly be?
Well, let's look at that small 4-letter word "good" for a minute, shall we? Traditionally-speaking, "good" tends to indicate something of quality, something of value -- or at least something of marginal usefulness. By this criteria, Beyond Reanimator hasn't really got much to offer. We were quite safe in assuming that it could gather dust on top of our DVD player for a week or two and we wouldn't be missing much.
However. If you were to redefine "good" to include such things as, "features a kung-fu fight scene between a prison rat and a dismembered zombie erection," well then. Now you're talking. Never fear, because Beyond Reanimator has all your zombie genitalia needs covered.
The "Reanimator" line is taken from H.P. Lovecraft's canon and centers around a mad scientist named Herbert West. Herbert sees death as a terminal illness, and in his own methodical, clinically-insane fashion, he seeks to cure it. He succeeds in restoring life to his unfortunate subjects, but he has a somewhat tougher time restoring them to rational behavior. Voila. Flesh-eating zombies, running amuck. In this third installment of the movie franchise, the flesh-eating, amuck-running zombies are largely confined to the prison where once again Dr. West is indulging his unholy experiments.
In addition to satisfying any mobile phallic curiosity you may harbor, Beyond Reanimator also fulfills your Recommended Daily Allowance of slutty nurses with visible granny panty-lines, orange-foam vomit, needles-the-size-of-railroad-spikes loaded with glowing green goo, the odd heaving nipple being bitten off, and nerdy mad scientists in jumpsuits.
Thank heavens this movie knows better than to take itself seriously. If you get hold of this DVD, be sure to watch the credits for a bonus shadow-puppet theater of prison rat karate taking on the free-range [organs]. Also, check the extras for the music video which (ostensibly) accompanies the film. Seriously. Watch it. I had to avert my eyes right about the time my boyfriend cried out, "GAY FRENCH ZOMBIE MIMES! HAHAHAHAHAAH!"
Anyway, It's outrageously stupid, but kind-of fun. Don't expect too much of it and you won't be let down.