Men's Sexual Health: Fitness for Satisfying Sex by Barry McCarthy and Michael Metz (Routledge, 2008)
I used to give most of my male patients a recommendation to Bernie Zilbergeld's book, Male Sexuality, which was wise and very funny. But McCarthy and Metz's Men's Sexual Health is my new must-read favorite for straight men. And if you're struggling with sexual compulsions, you really need to read this book.
Male Sexual Health is actually a kind of all-in-one male handbook for how to understand and enhance healthy sexuality by challenging performance-based sex. This book is great for adults and older adults, but I get even more excited when I think about giving it to young men who don't have any sexual problems, yet...
The discussions and exercises on understanding and naming your feelings rather than sexualizing them and on simultaneously appreciating, understanding, and taming your drive are outstanding.
Men's Sexual Health is organized in such a way as to be a wonderfully helpful reference book, with discrete chapters reviewing the authors' view of healthy, Good- Enough Sexuality, normal sexual development, differences between male and female sexuality, aging, dealing with sexual and health problems, and resources for finding professional help. It has an excellent index.
There is a lot of information here. Keep this book around. I'd be surprised if you've got a question that it doesn't cover ("Should I try Viagra?" "Am I sexually addicted?" "Am I normal?") Questions are answered, issues are tackled, research is reviewed, statistics, and helpful exercises, diagrams, charts, and graphs abound, and the authors' model of "good enough sex"--when relevant-- is applied to each problem.
Warning: The language is indisputably heterosexual.
Read it. It will help you and your partner. Men's Sexual Health is a self-help classic.
Psychologist Aline Zoldbrod Ph.D. is the author of three books, including SexSmart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do about It (1998, 2005). On the web at [...]