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Customer Review

on April 6, 2011
Hot? No. Getting into a black car in Southern California in the middle of summer is hot. A Starbucks Venti Latte is hot. A steam sauna is hot.

This is a hospital trip short of simultaneously gargling with lye while grilling your lips on a cast-iron Weber barbeque. A full twenty minutes after I had taken less than 1/4" of a pretzel stick coated in this satanic baby batter, my tongue was searing with a rabid and vicious intensity. The cup of hot drip coffee in my hand? Tried to put out the burn with it. Couldn't even FEEL the coffee touch my tongue.

A light smoky flavor? Are you kidding me? I couldn't taste anything for over an hour. If the sauce has any measurable flavor it is instantly destroyed by the brain-melting heat. There is no reason to ever buy this. Ever. What could you possibly do with it? Put a drop in a five-gallon pot of chili? Four pounds of taco meat? Seriously.

I could imagine doctors prescribing this as the herbal equivalent of Plan B. It would kill any disease, parasite, or unwanted fetus it came in contact with.

But yeah, it was pretty good.
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