Read SOUPY SEZ! by Soupy Sales with Charles Salzberg, the tale of the TV/Radio personality that helped me grow up . . . before reading the book, I had the impression that Soupy was a real nice guy . . . I'm now convinced. I never felt he talked down at me . . . rather, he invited me into his world . . . and what a world it was! This book gave me a better feel for what I saw on an almost daily basis . . . Soupy had been and still is one of my heroes . . . in fact, he helped teach me the one dance that I could do without making too much of a fool of myself: the mouse. I liked his tales of showbiz, as well as the recollections of several of his friends and colleagues . . . the many pictures were an added "plus." There were several memorable passages; among them: There is a definite art to pie-throwing. You can use whipped cream, egg whites or shaving cream, but shaving cream is much better because it doesn't spoil. And no tin plates. The secret is you just can't push it and shove it in somebody's face. It has to be done with a pie that has a lot of crust so that it breaks up into a thousand pieces when it hits you. [his infamous request of kids that got him suspended] So I moved up as close to the camera as I could, and I said, "Hey, kids, last night was New Year's Eve and your mom and dad were out having a good time and it's only right, since they work hard all year long. And they're probably still in the bedroom asleep. Now, what I want you to do is tiptoe into the bedroom and don't wake them up and you'll probably see your mom's pocketbook on the floor along with your dad's pants. Now, be real careful, because we don't want to wake them up, but I want you to go into your mom's pocketbook and your dad's pants and you'll find some little green pieces of paper with pictures of guys with beards on them. Now, what I want you to do is take those little pieces of green paper and put them into an envelope, and on the envelope, I want you to write Soupy Sales, Channel 5, New York, New York, and you know what I'm gonna send you in return? A postcard from Puerto Rico." Soupy's Definitions: Apple turnover--a command a fruit peddler uses when training an apple. Bacteria--the back door of a cafeteria. Bewithces--the way people in Brooklyn say, I'll be right there"--I'll bewitches in a second!" Blue jeans--tight pants that tell dirty jokes. Chestnuts--people who are crazy about Dolly Parton. Dialogue--how you make a phone call to a tree. Operating room--Warren Beatty's bedroom. Stopwatch--the command a policeman gives to a Rolex who's going too fast.