20 of 26 people found the following review helpful
This is unBEARable. Get it?????,
This review is from: Naughty Bear - Playstation 3 (Video Game)
When I first saw pictures of Naughty Bear, I was a little interested. A killer teddy bear? 'sounds like good dumb fun to me! Though at the same time, I noticed that very few details about gameplay were revealed, which was pretty smart on the developer's part, because it made more people buy the game without knowing about what they were getting into. After watching someone play Naughty Bear for 15 minutes, I knew this game sucked. Then, after playing it for a few hours myself, I can tell you that I haven't played a game this bad since Superman 64. Yeah, I used the S word there. Where Superman 64 was so bad that it was funny to watch, there's nothing redeeming about Naughty Bear unless you're that desperate for trophies.
What do I even say about the game's story? You're a gruff, tough bear who doesn't like anyone that lives around him. All his neighbors are these happy bears with high, squeaky voices that sound an awful lot like the Teletubbies, and for no real reason, it's up to you to beat the stuffing out of them. You'll use bats, machetes, and many other weapons [that all do the same thing] to terrorize the neighborhood while doing some forced stealth segments in an attempt to add some variety to the game. Level after level, you go around, beating up bears, raising your Naughty meter. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. I know the most common comment for this game is that it should've been a downloadable game for 1/5 the price, but I have to agree with them. Whoever said that it was ok to release Naughty Bear as a full price, real game, is nuts.
So just how bad is the gameplay? Imagine a game where attack moves are unresponsive, the camera is constantly getting stuck behind walls and other objects, you just mash the attack button over and over, and you attack the same characters while the same grinding track plays in the background over and over. That's Naughty Bear. A game like this had a lot of potential, but after playing the final product, I can't even begin to think of how this could've been a good game. The bad-ness took out any good ideas in my head. There are some parts of the game that have some genuine thought put into them, like smashing a phone before a bear can call the cops, but it doesn't matter much because by the time you get to the phone, it's too late. You'll have fought the camera for at least 30 seconds, then positioned yourself just right so you can open a door or break open a window. That's right- you have to be in just the right spot before the window asking if you want to open the door pops up. The weapons are all very basic, and while some kills did make me laugh a little, they could've been done better. I was too bothered by the over-use of 'Naughty' by the poorly voiced fake British narrator to be that into the game. Heck, I got sick of the word 'naughty' after 5 minutes.
The graphics aren't exactly pushing the ps3 to its limits. To tell you the truth, I could see this being done just fine on the ps2 or even the PSP. And yet, there's a lot of slowdown and frame issues with Naughty Bear. Why the heck does a game this basic have slowdown on the ps3? Character models and locations don't have much detail to begin with, so don't expect much from the visuals in any aspect. The audio's even worse, with that ungodly horrendous track that played over and over, the annoying bear voices and that narrator that should've ditched the accent.
I don't just hand out 1 star ratings for things. Usually, I can see some positive aspects in games, movies, or books that get nothing but bad reviews from others, and rate it appropriately. With Naughty Bear, there's no hope. I'll give it 2 stars for fun because it used the cool Deadly Creatures/X-Men Origins: Wolverine camera that would sometimes cut to the victim's point of view and show you popping up into view, taking them out mercilessly. That's always great, and I wish more [good] games would use it. As it is, there's no reason what so ever to buy this. Even if someone loans it to you, as is my case, I think you'll feel insulted more than anything.
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Showing 1-5 of 5 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Sep 1, 2010 12:13:33 PM PDT
D. Rope says:
In reply to an earlier post on Sep 1, 2010 2:19:09 PM PDT
Armando N. Roman says:
No one's making you read the whole thing in the first place. And since when does the rating equal how long a review should be?
Posted on Nov 12, 2010 6:17:46 AM PST
Damien Canel says:
Good review. It sounds like you were more than fair when you reviewed this game. I too am able to find redeeming qualities in games that get bad reviews, but this game just looks and sounds uninteresting and boring. And since you compared it too Superman 64, it MUST be bad!
Posted on Dec 1, 2010 5:28:57 PM PST
Bro thanks for the info, I think you just saved a few bucks.
Posted on May 16, 2016 6:32:20 AM PDT
what an unplayable ... "game". wish i'd read your review first ! as for having all the good ideas about what the game might be like, i too had them displaced by rough, halting animation, terrible camera controls (so bad i'd expected to be sick), and unresponsive controls. after less than a half hour i gave up. my hat is off to you for playing even longer than that
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