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Customer Review

27 of 32 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Another Thing for Women to Feel Guilty About: Don't Bother!, April 23, 2012
This review is from: Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!) (Paperback)
The poor view of women the authors of "Alpha Bitch" hold is revealed in the title. Calling other women "bitch" for being "forceful and competitive" reveals their innate hostility towards their own gender. What is a "forceful competitive man?" Answer: Successful. What is a forceful and competitive woman according to the authors? "A Bitch." The authors claim: "Women are notorious for being controlling..." Really? That is a news flash. Are we to believe that women are somehow "in control" of anything in this world? Isn't this still a man's world in politics, business, religion, and finance? Have they ever been on Wall Street? "They are coming at life in a very masculine way, pushing forcing, trying to get through life by kicking down doors, rather than using their more feminine grace..." Again, what are they talking about...who is kicking down doors other than the handful of women at the top of today's Fortune 500 corporations? Alpha Bitch is a bitchy unempowering tale reminscent more of Marabel Morgan's 40 year old "The Total Woman" than any helpful blueprint for female success. It caters to the most limiting stereotypes of strong women as unfeminine. Rather than support concepts of "unfeminine" power of purpose and bitchiness exemplified by Reality TV and this book,read Gail Collins: "When Everything Changed" or listen to Pat Mitchell of the Paley Center interviewing women on power. It will give you a more balanced view of what "feminine" really means and it has nothing to do with "bitches." Alpha Bitch is just another retro dribble book capitalizing on making women feel more guilty about being women than they already do. If you have any self-esteem at all: pass on this book!
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Showing 1-7 of 7 posts in this discussion
Initial post: May 28, 2012 5:08:37 PM PDT
Sandhan says:
Couldn't agree more!
No truly feminine woman would ever use the word "bitch" in her book title even in jest.
Compare the title above with "Powerful and Feminine: How to Increase Your Magnetic Presence & Attract the Attention You Want".. now THAT'S a feminine woman talking...Save yourself the bother with this one and read Rachael Jayne Groover's book instead!

Posted on May 28, 2012 5:24:07 PM PDT
[Deleted by the author on May 28, 2012 5:24:31 PM PDT]

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 9, 2013 10:58:54 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 9, 2013 11:39:46 AM PDT
Sandhan, thank you for naming an alternative :O)

Posted on Apr 9, 2013 11:31:58 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 9, 2013 11:48:54 AM PDT
Thanks for taking the time and doing this great review :O) Two things though, one; I don't feel guilty about being a woman or being forceful. I can't see why I should feel any guilt whatsoever. Second, I do believe that rumor that says that behind every 'successful' man there's a powerful woman. I see it every day around me. Without the women I know, their men would be nothing. So maybe we see the men in Wall Street, but we don't see who's behind them. That these women are using their power to change the world? Well, that's another story, I think. What we are not is a unified force, if we were, things would definitely be different.

Posted on Apr 23, 2013 3:07:38 PM PDT
ds says:
In the evolution of equality, we have misunderstood being treated respectfully and equally, with being treated the same. By doing this, we as a culture say, "yes, you can be given the same opportunities, but only if you act the same as those in" Being equal doesn't mean being the same. It means having equal access to opportunity, respect and resources. Women who congratulate themselves for being really good at being forceful, cut-throat, ruthless... i.e. acting like "successful men" in the world, are not evolving into the next phase of equality. You say if a man acts forceful or ruthless he's considered successful so you choose to adopt that behavior in hopes it will catapult you to "success". I believe that when we as humans value and compensate the aspects that women innately bring to the table is when when we will step towards true equality. I am a strong women. I can say no when needed. I can put my nose to the grindstone, be assertive when needed and make hard, unpopular decisions when necessary, but I don't subscribe to the believe that to make it in a "man's world" we have to adopt the deplorable characteristics that are currently associated with the cut-throat man's world. If we do that, it will perpetually be a "man's world" and we will perpetually be interlopers. Only we when appreciate, respect and compensate both the feminine and masculine aspects of power (within ourselves as individuals and within each gender), will we progress beyond politically correct, bandaid solutions that require us as women to mimic the current patriarchal paradigm instead of creating a new paradigm of true equality.

In reply to an earlier post on Jul 8, 2013 7:53:10 AM PDT
Excellent points! We do NOT have to act like men in order to be successful and the women who insist that it's ok to be controlling and ruthless are simply saying that women should become neo-men or be considered weak. How sexist is that! Why should we accept male stereotypes of "success"? Who says it's ok for men to be cut-throat, ruthless and forceful? That's not strength, that's bullying - and we're better than that. Surely 40 years on it's time that women showed that there's another, better way more suited to our innate (not learned) strengths.

Posted on Aug 12, 2014 10:40:13 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Aug 13, 2014 2:39:17 AM PDT
Ichiro says:
I understand the points Rebecca Grado are conveying but definitely side with "Happy Gal" more.

Best outcome of ANYTHING, no matter we are talking about happiness, success, or any goals, would be best achieved through a balance approach. Yah, it is a no brainer that it would be best to be an Alpha and Feminine at the appropriate times and get the best results. That is just stating the obvious and unrealistic.

But in real life, I believe a lot of women that are Alpha Bitch, most DIDN'T start out picking the tough route. I feel that the author is REVERSING the natural progression of a woman's approach towards life, career and goals. Instead of saying mistrust, pushing put creativity to a halt; hey women, stop being an alpha bitch, you can succeed best leveraging your female network; I see that a lot of women BECOME Alpha Bitch because they weren't taken seriously when they mingled with the soft female network or being bullied along by others in the first place. The idealistic approach that the author advocates hasn't worked and has caused much hindrance and backfired.

Yes, it is great all these women could achieve success doing the right thing, being nice, unisolated etc. But the points are so impractical and not worth it to put in a book, that I feel like I am reading a book talking about how wonderful the world would be if politicians are honest, no one lies/compete unfairly, and we all love our neighbours as ourselves and see how successful and widely admired is Mother Teresa. The author is obviously a non-alpha bitch criticizing the alpha bitch approach without truly understand why certain women became that way. And more importantly, what makes it more ridiculous is that, assume what I said is true, at least to the few alpha bitches I know, if the feminine nice approach failed horribly in the first place, and the tough competitive approach helped them move forward, what is the alternative that may work? The author just suggested the failed approached. It is a load of crap. Every extensive description how the controlling approach shut ppl down, how it could negatively affect the woman and who is around them, is practically applicable to anyone who is alpha/controlling. The book just provide no insights. This is the most illogical, uninsightful book I read for years.

Nonetheless, I do love and agree with "ds & Isobel"'s comments. But that is not what I heard the author conveyed.

It is just insane that the author just mix up Law of Attraction (which I believe in) and Alpha Bitch (categorizing it almost like there is a set of well studied traits like "narcissism") and jam up this book. Alpha women are often shaped by work/home environment. Alpha women do not equal female narcissists! Even if the suggestions in the book were suggestions to female narcissist, it still does not work. The suggestions are as dumb as telling a narcissist , "Be nice or you will attract bad energy, you know my client Jennifer who was once a narcissistic ditched her old approach and now her husband is much more caring". Anyone who is familiar with the popular Law of Attraction or self-help psychology (eg narcissism) books will see how pointless this book is.

I agree with other reviews - the 5 star reviews with only one or two review history are so fake! "A potential world-changer"??? OMG!!!! Less than a handful of the 4 and 5 star reviews are real. Others are all fake & written on 1/23 and the few subsequent days.

I can't believe I wasted my time to finish the whole book.
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