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Customer Review

7 of 10 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Much ado about nothing, April 8, 2010
This review is from: The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Two-Disc Special Edition) (DVD)
That's the best way I can describe this horrific travesty called a "movie". Much ado about nothing because nothing was happening, but everything "seemed" to be SOOOOO dramatic. I think I must have uttered the words "My God" at least 150 times while watching this movie and it wasn't because I was so in awe of what I was seeing... I take that back. I was in awe, in complete disbelief that a movie could be SO bad, yet be so loved by so many.

From the beginning of the movie to the very end, I was flabbergasted by how horrible the writing was. I was appalled by how one-dimensional and stilted the dialog was. I was beside myself by how completely void of emotion the acting was. Even as a teenage girl, this movie would have made me cringe and probably demand my money back at the box office had I seen it at the theater.

Seriously, the only way I was able to watch this movie was in small doses. My friends had told me how bad it was, but like most things that leave victims in its wake in total devastation, I had to see it for myself. It took me a whole week to watch New Moon. Here's why:

Spoiler Alert:

I'll start with the bad, there's so much of it:

Bella - Void of human emotion, it's no wonder she can't relate to other humans at all. I don't see why the author or director thinks I'm supposed to buy the cockamamie story that Bella has friends just because they throw her in a scene with four ppl who really should be giving her the cold shoulder. The humans in this series seem so desperate to be accepted by Bella who act as though she's too good for them, It's just sad and pathetic, nuff said about that.

More about Bella, though. I find it funny that the vampires claim they can't read her mind. I believe I have the answer why. And the answer is: There's nothing there to read. Bella has no thoughts. She can't even hold a conversation, for crying out loud! If she's not talking about how beautiful and wonderful Edward is, or how "complex" and lonely and sad she is, then the dummy has nothing to say.

No emotional range at all, and she's pretty heartless, egotistical and selfish if you think about it. Uses people when she needs to, but then pretends she's the victim. And I can't tell you how stupid it was that she hallucinated seeing Edward everytime she thought about doing something stupid. But even more ridiculous was her reason for being sooooo "daring". I only wished there was a bunch of jagged rocks at the bottom of the cliff when her dumb butt jumped.

Edward - He's got to be bi-polar, that's the only thing that can explain his wishy-washy personality and rational. When he tells Bella he must leave her because she's "not good for him" it leaves you thinking. "OMG" and "WTF" I suppose this epiphany came to him when he tossed her silly butt into the mirror and table at his house on her birthday. Doing more damage to her than anyone else in the movie did. I only wish the mirror had sliced her throat and killed her, thus sparing the rest of us such a boring melodrama of a plot.

So Edward leaves, abandoning Bella, who sits in the same chair in the same outfit for three months. LOL. Just terrible. I only wished she had downed some pills and slit her wrist in a tub of hot water and spared us the silly "adrenaline junkie" routine that follows her lame depression.

Poor Jacob, with his goofy butt, pining for this corpse of a girl who doesn't want him. Why does he want her so badly. Why does ANYONE want her the way they do!!!!!? She's empty inside. E.M.P.T.Y.! I only wish I had a silver bullet to put him out of his misery.

There was so many silly, unbelievable scenes in this movie, to name them all, I'd have to write a novel. The only good thing I thought the movie had was the size of the wolves were impressive, too bad they looked like cartoons with that crappy CGI. Also, the fight scenes were interesting, too bad the one with the wolves and the vampire didn't get a chance to play out, because we had to see what Bella was up to. The vampire fight with Edward seemed overdone and in the end a waste of time, but at least Edward got his butt kicked and that put a smile on my face. He deserved it for taking off his shirt exposing his spiny, frail, pale, pitiful-looking, glittery bird chest.

The drama was forced, the romance is non-existent and the plot was barer than Mrs. Hubbard's cupboard. Boo! on everyone who had something to do with this movie.
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Showing 1-2 of 2 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Jun 4, 2011, 7:36:13 PM PDT
Your review is by far more interesting than this horrible series. I have no idea how it became so popular! I read Twilight and was appalled by what so many call "good". It's horrible! Now that we agree, I will spare myself a lot of trouble by reading your intelligent critiques before purchasing. Thank you!

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 15, 2011, 7:48:03 PM PDT
It was my pleasure and thank you.
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