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on August 20, 2015
I love the Cloud and Townsend books, and this book is no exception. It is Biblically based and gives sound advice on relationships with various types of people. It gives permission to say No, when you need to say No, and how to say No to people who take advantage. It does an excellent job on helping you feel empowered and not feel guilty when setting your boundaries. It's also great to help you see if you've been running over other peoples boundaries, which can happen and you don't even realize it. A friend recommended it to me when I was going through a break-up and I've bought extra copies and given them to friends who felt others were making too many demands on them. Highly Recommend
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on August 19, 2011
After being diagnosed with PTSD, much of which was caused by childhood, one of the books I stumbled upon in my search for healing was this book. Reading this book multiple times, the Bible, prayer, and time with a counselor and psychiatrist changed my life. After nearly 35 years of believing the worst about myself, this book helped me see where God wants me to take my stand and what it looks like to do so. Thank you Mr. Cloud for writing this book. God used your words to end years of suffering.
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on October 23, 2012
This book is so imperative for the counselor and therapist. If we consider the basis of healthy living, boundaries comes in second. relationship to God is first, but to begin the journey of wholeness and freedom in Christ, an individual must have boundaries. This book helps bring that forth, understand God's perspective, eliminates codependency or at least highlights it, if an individual issue, encourages healthy esteem. But more than anything, it allows conformation or affirmation in God to say, it is good to set boundaries and this is how... God usually takes care of the rest.

I use it as a mandatory in my sessions.
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on June 22, 2015
I think I have read every book Henry Cloud has written. I think this is his best. Every client I work with needs boundaries. I always end up helping them define the issues and set up a plan to improve and set up boundaries. I have difficulty saying no myself. I want to please people but some people try to take advantage of a kind hearted person. This book explains how to create reasonable boundaries. It is a cookbook on how to make boundaries.
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on July 12, 2015
This is singularly the most beneficial book I've read in my entire life. I'm a small-framed meek and mild guy who didn't know how to put limits on what I would tolerate happening to MYSELF, and I suffered as a result. My ex was physically abusive toward me and I didn't know what to do. This book helped me find a way to take care of myself instead of continually attempting to pacify her (pacifying her, by the way, only meant she was empowered to inflict more suffering down the line).
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on April 26, 2014
I always wondered why I felt I was a nice guy who always struggled with an ex-wife and addict and others in my life. The more I gave the more unhappy I became. I quickly learned that I had never set boundaries or let others set them for me even though I did not like them.

This book helped me to discover who I am, what I am, and that I need to do a better job of outwardly communicating that and that who I am is ok. I am now taking responsibility for myself and my actions. I respect myself and set boundaries with others. The setting of these boundaries has brought me serenity and freedom I did not think where possible.
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on April 12, 2015
Very helpful read for a difficult relationship. Helped put responsibility of both parties in perspective. Took the reactivity out of my responses and let the other person OWN their STUFF!!
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on October 8, 2013
Won't recommend this book. It can be summarized in a short paragraph. You only need to read the first three chapters. Nothing new in the back. Really. I don't even think it a Christian book even though it quotes a ton of Bible verses. It just uses Bible verses to justify its positions. That's all. The most significant absence is the reference to God's guidance through the Holy Spirit. The word "spirit" was used for about 20 times only. Half of it was used in "evil spirit". Seems this author doesn't believe in the HS at all. The whole book is actually a talk on common sense. But hey, oftentimes people are irrational. And the HS does irrational things too. For many of the cases in the book, I don't see the author has any good answer or Christian answer at all. It just try to rationalize but it's weak. Don't waste your time and money.
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on March 5, 2012
I purchased this book because I thought that I was "broken" in so many ways.... it turns out that I just came from a very dysfuctional family... being a Christian it is hard to find books that give you this kind of insight. I've found it very helpful. So much so, that I find myself re-reading and going back on chapters. This book has taken me the longest to read and have yet to finish it just becuase I keep going back and finding out new stuff. I do refer to the biblical references and find that helpful as well.
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on November 27, 2013
This is a great book on setting personal boundaries. I think you'll get a lot out of it if you read it and APPLY IT!
As Christians we sometimes get into the wrong mindset and continue to let others use us as they will, or motivate us with guilt, as well as falling into the need to please others in order to feel validated and approved of.
While it's true that we should put others before ourselves and develop an attitude as well as the personal discipline of being servant-like, there is a balance to be had.
I've learned to serve in the areas that God has gifted me for and called me to and to graciously and honestly say no to other offers/requests that are driven simply by the need for warm bodies to do the work.
I feel so liberated and so much more productive, because I'm focusing on what I'm meant to do and not trying to be a "Jack of all trades," meeting everyone's needs and expectations of me.
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