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Showing 1-10 of 402 reviews(Verified Purchases). See all 1,234 reviews
on October 3, 2012
Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile.
5150+ comments| 63,020 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on March 20, 2017
So I bought a 5lb bag seeing if these little bastards held up to the Haribo sugar free bears and boy...they did not disappoint. Having 5 is the happy medium, you get to snack on some yummy treats without the worry of soiling yourself. Anything over 5...you're on your own and may God be with you! Full Disclosure: I am writing this review on my toilet, where I have been off and on for the past 3 hours. Today at work, I decided that I would be a brave boy and push the limits of my body. So I ate roughly 25-30 of these cyanide pills.

2 Hours Later

What I can only describe as someone with a voodoo doll twisting me in half, hits me. "Ok boys, I'm headed home" I shout to my coworkers. I make it to my truck as the cramping intensifies. "Manageable" I say to myself, "I can surely make the 15 minute trip home." Approximately 30 seconds later, I am sitting inside of a plastic shopping bag, completely convinced that I will not make it home.

I MADE IT!!! I gingerly walk into my home and up the stairs, all the while the sounds of a horribly executed exorcism are playing out in my twisted up gut. The second that I touch porcelain what can only be compared to dropping a Mentos into a 2 liter of Diet Coke followed. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning. Over the past 3 hours, the eruptions have been coming at a steady pace. My toilet/ass must be feeling what the Allied forces felt like against the German Blitzkrieg.

The horrendous sound of demons screaming in your gut, is like an alarm clock without the snooze button. Do not lollygag when you hear them chant, you just run. And this should go without saying, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES trust a fart! I cannot stress that last part enough. I hope that you heed my warnings and prepare properly. Treat this as if it were a blizzard and stock up on just TP, forget the milk unless you are lactose intolerant and want the ultimate flush.

All in all I give this product 5/5 stars and would recommend this to a friend. I am currently placing an order for another 5lb bag...
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on July 28, 2017
The reviews are true! You will poop your brains out. I'm evil and gave them away at Mardi Gras. Never take candy from strangers!
0Comment| 28 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on June 26, 2014
Once upon a time I was looking around online for the perfect wedding gift for my ex-fiance, one that a diet-conscientious person would love. I think this will express my feelings perfectly.
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on September 24, 2017
good value and they taste good also
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on September 24, 2017
It tastes terrible.
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on December 9, 2016
Get ready to put $300 down. Youll need to call a plumber...
0Comment| 190 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on September 17, 2017
When you haven't had regular jellybeans in a long time, they are pretty good.
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on October 19, 2016
My wife bought them for me. I was unaware of the consequences. You'll be sorry if you eat them. I am. Oh the horror.
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on June 13, 2017
Bought these for my husband and his co-workers to do the 'gummy bear challenge' ...the bears won 😂 On another note, they are tasty and if you don't mind all the rumbling, farting and diarrhea, have a handful 🤣
0Comment| 95 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse