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In strange orbits: Volume 1 (In strange orbits - Bundle) Kindle Edition
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|Length: 218 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
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|Age Level: 11 - 18|
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The settings is completely different, and the story is way more adult. The children is also way less children and too much genious compared to what a normal eleven years old would be.
Still the story works, and is quite selfconclusive, so not too much of a cliff hanger at the end of each book, but the bigger storyarch is there.
I read your disclaimer that you translated this on your own into English. I did notice one word that I wasn't sure meant what you thought. It works if you decide there has been language shift or slang in the future. Word was Ravage. The context it was used in seemed more like destroy or destruction. Other than that and one sentence that I didn't mark, everything seemed to be very well translated. I found no incongruent words or sentences. All I can say is that I was very impressed with the job you did translating. Your errors there if they were errors, were less than most books grammatical errors. Other than the two things I mentioned I didn't see anything that would have led me to believe you were not a native English speaker.
Your book/story was very reminiscent of a life long favorite of mine called Retread Shop by T Jackson King. I first read it in 1988 when it was first published in paper back. He has since published to kindle and written a prequel book recently that is now the first book in the series. If you wanted to read something that would qualify as research into your story I think you would enjoy it. I have to say that I enjoyed your story as much as I did retread shop even with it being a life long favorite of mine.
For people looking at reading this if you have every read any of T Jackson Kings books you will love this.
Now on to the story... I am absolutely devastated that the second volume isn't published yet. I read the whole thing in one sittings and couldn't set it down. It was a gripping story and though I have observed that it is hard for authors to give a feel of alien in their writing to reflect cultures that don't exist, Mr. Somoza did a decent job at giving us a feel for it. he managed that as well as non stop action and some decent character development. I loved the Korgan development. Trying to show softness in a species that has none, that one would do something so out of character both personally and racially as adopt/marry a juvenile of another species because of her courage and honor. It is one of those things that tries to bend the mind with the taste of alien. Trying to show motivation that doesn't match what we innately understand.
I will wrap it up by saying you need to start translating the next volume into English :) I look forward to reading it.
by Ramon Somoza
Reviewed by J Bryden Lloyd
Note: I was gifted a copy of this work for an honest read and review. The following review, as with all reviews, is my personal opinion of the submitted text.
Writing Style – 3.0/5.0 (Okay)
There is a reasonably good narrative running throughout the book, though the structure begins to fall away during the last two sections.
As a translated work, this isn’t a bad read, but the flow is often a little awkward as the sentence structure is occasionally broken by the translation.
Character Development – 3.0/5.0 (Okay)
This began well and the early character development was nicely structured. As the plot developed and Tanit is drawn into the more expansive plot, the development feels less comfortable – especially in relation to her age and ability.
As the story progresses and other characters are introduced in key roles, the development seems to stabilise, which helps settle the plot a little.
The occasional, incidental characters are nicely drawn, though some feel a little vague as their parts are so minor.
Descriptive – 4.0/5.0 (Very Good)
The descriptive is very thorough and very solid, giving the reader plenty of food for the vivid visuals the writing conjures up.
With so much of the story dedicated to the ‘unknown’, Somoza works hard to keep the reader informed as the story moves along at a fair pace, and does so very well indeed.
If I were to be picky, the translation occasionally threw up a few incorrect words and these did have an effect on the read.
Generally, the dialogue did not fully support the descriptive, though it did offer enough to keep the atmosphere of the piece flowing well.
Language & Grammar – 2.5/5.0 (Average)
To be fair, the author’s notes do point out that there may be minor issues due to translation, and he does ask for separate feedback on these. But, to be honest, there are a LOT of things that are just a little short of being correct, and a few things which are glaringly wrong… and although it is clear that a massive amount of effort has gone into this, I fear the author will be receiving ‘feedback’ for years to come.
On the other hand, as with other works I have read, it is abundantly clear that English is NOT the preferred language of this author. A lot of the word selection is most likely down to literal translation and, although a follow-up line edit from an English-speaking editor would have caught the vast majority of this, it doesn’t make the whole thing bad.
Yes, a little awkward from time to time, but by no means bad.
That said, work is most certainly needed to make this the book it deserves to be. It is well on its way, but a little more TLC won’t go amiss.
Plot – 3.5/5.0 (Good) – VERY MINOR SPOILERS
Very enjoyable. Cleverly put together.
If I’m going to be honest, I would have to say my main reservation is with the age of the main character. Yes, the story works – just about. But this really would have been a far more grounded work if Tanit had been just a few years older.
Genius or not, at such a young age there would still be significant limitations on physical ability and psychological maturity through development, and although the story is well devised and some of this is offset by differences in gravity, this is not always something which would compensate.
For me, this made some elements of the story (particularly the observations and descriptive regarding sexual elements) feel a little uncomfortable.
Toward the end of this instalment, it seems as though the author is beginning to ignore the physical age of Tanit, as the rescue mission unfolds. Again, I felt the lack of maturity of the character would have been an obstacle in these events.
General – 3.5/5.0 (Good)
The cover art is nice, but plays on the character a little too much. It would be easy to mistake this for a children’s book when it most certainly is not.
The title is nice and original, but whether it (and the cover art) really portray the story well, I’m not sure.
Content-wise, this is a good read but just needs to have a little tidying up to make it far better.
Recommended? Yes, sort of. But go in with your eyes open and accept it for the nicely created story it is.
Just a nudge over 3 Stars for me, heading toward 3 and a half.